The time we have now.

I am weary of looking into the future that I have no control over and worrying about things which are out of my hands.  

I am weary of looking into the past and wishing I had lived my life for a greater purpose than my own.

I am weary of continually searching for meaning in material possessions, pleasure seeking moments, or people who cannot fill the deepest needs of my soul.

 

Today I stopped and took a break.  I turned off my phone.  I played with my children.  I shared time with my wife.  Today I lived in this moment.  

All we have is what we have…in this moment.  True life can only be found in making the most of every moment…every laugh…every conversation.  The time we have now…is all the time we have now.  So don’t miss out.  Tomorrow may come too late.

On working away from family, moving forward in spite of obstacles, and keeping vision out front.

I heard a great quote this past week from Andy Stanley.  ”When your dreams exceed your vision…the end is near.” 

How many of us live in the past?  We live on past successes and expect that our good times in the past will carry us to good or better times in the future. But that’s the lie we tell ourselves.  The salesman who becomes salesman of the month, becomes complacent and fails the next month.  The pastor who preaches a great sermon one Sunday, becomes satisfied with the work he did on last weeks sermon and feels like he can just carry that intensity into next week’s without proper study and working throught the text the way he did before.  The husband executes a great night of enjoyment for his wife with a nice dinner and conversation, and then does nothing to keep stoking the fire and the romance needed for that relationship.  

 

How do so many of us live on past successes expecting them to carry us into the future? This is disturbing.  Life is not about living in the past.  It is about finding out what the vision is and keeping it out in front so you are moving forward in life instead of moving backwards or at a standstill.   It is about learning your skills and talents, gifts and abilities, and moving forward in life to accomplish greater things and develop deeper relationships than what you did in the past.

 

For about 8 weeks now,  I have been working here in Houston, TX , away from my family to follow the call of God on my life towards beginning anew the journey of ministry He called me to so many years ago.  I miss my family.  I hate being apart from them.  But I do this right now for a short period of time so that in the future, we can not only take care of ourselves financially, but also so that we can be qualified to take on the responsibilities of the roles and the call God has placed on our lives.  

Every day there are reasons for me to not get up, not get out of bed, and not move forward creating the future for my family.  But if we are going to experience a transformation in our lives, we are going to have to go through the metamorphasis of life that comes our way.  So many of us do not like change in our lives, because we have a problem with the pain that comes along with change.  

Following a dream is hard.  It involves sacrifice.  It involves isolation.  It involves rejection and discouragement.  And it must be in the midst of the pain that we find in ourselves the will to continue on in spite of the circumstances we are in.  The dream is in the heart to become a reality.  There is a reality that can only happen if we live the life of our dreams.  Obstacles are there to be overcome and problems are there to be solved.  Ultimately, there is no gain without any pain.  

 

I do not know what the future holds.  No one does.  And anyone who tells you they know the future is a liar because they do not know what could happen next.  There could be a turnaround.  There could be a breakthrough.  There could be a new opportunity.  

True fulfillment only comes when the price is paid, the deed is done, and the dream is realized.  Until then, all we are is dreamers.  Let us become doers and practitioners.  Then we will find ourselves on the other side of the future with a new dream, a bigger vision, and a closer understanding of our God.

Promoted!!

Good news!!  God is still using me here in Houston.  Last week I was given a promotion to “Sales Team Leader” for our Houston office of SCONA (Specialty Consultants of North America).  I am leading a team of contract salesmen, hired by SCONA to get more roofing business for KENCOR Construction out of Atlanta.  Still plugging away, working hard to earn a solid weekly check.  Each month the rewards are beginning to show.  Not there yet, still building this business and my referral base….but I’m definitely advancing here and good results will be happening in the near future.     I get to go to WVA on Tuesday.  Our 12 year wedding anniversary is on the 28th….I’m so excited to see Rebecca and the kids.  Glad to be doing something that counts.  Hate to be so distant from my family.  But glad to see the results of the work we are doing.  7 roofs and counting have been built for my homeowners!  Awesome.   Still chasing lions. art

For Dad…

I wrote these words almost two months ago.  I just thought it might be appropriate to share this again here on Father’s Day.  Enjoy.

 

Action Cures Fear

 

When I was growing up, my Dad would use acronyms for everything he wanted to give us advice about.  I guess it was his way of remembering for himself what he was trying to teach us.  Being a Navy officer, he was used to acronyms for everything and so it just naturally fit for his parenting to carry some of that “military” jargon into our family.  

H.I.T.H meant Hang in there Honey!

K.O.K. meant “Kinko-Konnie” (which was Dad’s term for whiny butt, which he used whenever my sisters and I were being whiny butts, not getting our own way as kids) It also sounds a lot like “Pinko Commie”, which I believe was a derogatory term for Soviet communists. But that’s another story altogether.

There was L.W. for us which meant, “Last Word”.  This was describing our inability to allow a conversation to end (or argument really) without being the one to say the Last Word.   I was LW quite a bit.

     And then there were times when Dad gave us acronyms to remind us how to become principled people, building character into us and teaching us to overcome obstacles, problems, and circumstances in life.  

I’m sure there were many Dad gave us, but the one that has stuck with me the most over the years is ACF.

 Action Cures Fear.

 I remember many times when embarking on something new and uncertain, when fear was great and courage was distant, Dad would remind me with this simple acronym that action is the cure for fear.

And now I stand once again on the precipice of uncertainty, fear, and a sense of mystery about the future of my family, my work, and my calling.  And through the years, echoing from the heart of my father into my spirit is the reminder that the best way to  overcome the fear of the unknown that is in my heart, is to move forward in courage.  I am preparing my heart for action on the truth that I know God moves before me and prepares a path for us that leads us more into His unshakeable presence and helps us to trust in His provision for the future.

God has been speaking courage into my life for the past several weeks.  In little ways, He has reminded me that to become the husband and father, even the leader He has called me to be, I must be strong and courageous as I step out into the wild unknown and indescribable mystery He is calling us into.  

Today, the Holy Spirit led me to pick up a book I have not read in quite a long time.  As I was waiting for a friend to meet in a coffee shop today, I opened the book up and read these words, “Courage Establishes Leadership”.  The book, entitled The NEXT Generation Leader, by Andy Stanley, has an entire section describing the kind of courage it takes to become a leader in our homes, in our jobs, in our communities, and in our churches.  

In the past, I never used to tell people that “God spoke to me”.  And if I did, it was usually because I had an idea that I wanted to move forward with, and I was using God’s name to make it sound like He was leading me to do it.  

But now, things are different.  God really has been speaking to me lately and it’s really beginning to freak me out.  No, I’m not hearing any audible voices.  But over the past couple of years, God has slowly stripped away so many of the distractions in my life that often kept me from being able to hear His still, small, voice whispering quietly into my soul.  Over the past few weeks, I have continually heard Him telling me, “Take Courage”.  And today, in that small moment with that book, it was confirmed once again, that in the midst of an uncertain future, a mysterious path, and a risky venture…God is speaking courage into me from all different directions.

 

And so, on Monday morning, I will move forward.  I leave Monday for Louisiana to spend some time with Mom and Dad before I go on to Houston on Wednesday.  There are still many questions to be answered, many provisions yet to be provided for.  I will be leaving my family here in Murfreesboro, in the hands of God and our church family.  But we move forward in faith that God is a God of action, of courage, and of great possibilities.  He is the Great, I AM.  He is here in the present, and is waiting for us in the future.  He will never leave us nor forsake us.  And He will uphold us with His strong Hands.  We can trust in that, even when all else is uncertain and our world is falling apart.  

Action Cures Fear.

“Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, (YES!) I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 ESV 

How to move on…

Get up. Show up.  Fess up.  Grow up.  

Slow down. Focus in. Steady walk.  Straight forward.

Eyes up.  Eyes forward.  Eyes guarded.  Eyes toward…

    Jesus.  

 

Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 

 

THIS IS THE MAN IN THE ARENA….THE ONE WHO STANDS IN THE FACE OF THE UNKOWN>>>>THE ONE WHO STARES INTO THE FACE OF FEAR AND MEETS IT HEAD ON…JUST LIKE JESUS…WE ARE BEING DARED TO MOVE FORWARDS….WHAT WILL I DO?

 

Endurance.

Despise the Shame.

Eyes on the Prize.

 

KEEP FOCUSED.  Keep moving.  Don’t stop.  Slow down to refocus…start back up to renovate…move forward to revolutionize!

For Mom

This moment.

From Charlotte to Nashville to Murfreesboro to Slidell, LA..this moment brings me here.  To witness a life at its end.  To witness an end that reminds me what it is to be fully alive.  

My mother, Cynthia Louise Jerman Kelly died at 1250pm Thursday afternoon the 4th of June.  And the silence is deafening.

I have much I could say, and there is much still to be shared in the coming days of her funeral here in Slidell and her graveside in Pulaski VA.  She will be buried next to “the Pouting Tree” on my grandparents farm where my dad and his siblings were sent to pout when they misbehaved as children.  

 

But for now, I sit here in the darkness of this hotel room and wonder about eternity and all it holds.  And I wonder about this moment.  Not to be wasted.  Not to be forgotten.  Not to be lived in regret for words spoken, attitudes held, or actions done.

 I grieve.  I greive the way Mom died.  I grieve for myself that I don’t get another chance to hold her, speak with her, or show her how much I love and appreciate her this side of Heaven.  I grieve for my sisters whose relationship with my mother was much closer than my own and who shared a much deeper connection with her as women often do.  I mourn for them and their loss.  i grieve for my father who will go to sleep tonight without the woman he vowed to live and love with for his entire lifetime.  I greive.

And yet.. in our grief we hope.

Until this moment passes..we promise to live in it..fully immersed in this moment…fully alive.  

 

Immanuel come…remind us of the truth of your name…God with us.  We need to know you are here.

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

You’ll come… let your glory fall
As you respond… to us
Spirit rain… flood into our thirsty hearts again

You’ll come!

 

 

(From Hillsong’s….You’ll Come)